Argument with my Best Friend

I was talking to my best friend today and we had a disagreement. The tension got high as she was expressing herself.  I felt like she was attacking me. I could feel my ego get stirred. I know it’s my ego when I feel that anxious, nervous, angry feeling. I told her, I told her that I heard what she was saying. I knew I needed to say nothing, because all that was going to come out of my mouth was something insane-something from the past that my ego remembered.  She said she felt she didn’t want to share with me anymore because she felt like I didn’t care. I said, “okay we can stop talking, we can talk another time, or we can work through this right now on the phone.” I was able to say this because I chose to look at this ego energy that was inside me like a child, I chose to not knowing anything and be neutral, I looked with wonder and mystery. I didn’t attach my ego to what she was saying with her ego. I just wanted to hear how she felt and talk through that.  I told her from my heart that I was not defending myself, and that my heart heard that she feels like I don’t care. I told her that I loved her very much, and that is my hearts truth. I also said that I knew that she has felt these feeling of others she loves not caring about her, and that I was just bringing it up for her. I wasn’t saying this to avoid taking personal responsibility. I wanted to learn more about what she is feeling about me so I could, if needed, make some changes myself. What I know about the ego is that it can only bring things up from the past, and those things come up for us to look at over and over again until we are ready to heal them.  I also took this opportunity to get my golden egg of freedom and re-feel my ego feelings of feeling attacked by her. This is a very familiar feeling to me. I’m so glad to have it come up for me to heal. I allowed the old ego feeling to come into my heart. I embraced them. I felt what it feels like when I attack someone. I didn’t like it! I didn’t like the feeling. I chose right there to forgive myself for having attacked others. Then I forgave her. At that moment I had transmuted the energy and all I felt was peace, joy, and happiness! 

You Have Your Hearts Desire

Everyone’s hearts desire is different from one another. We each have our own passion that calls to us in our heart.  We all have a purpose, a reason we chose to be here. We chose to come here to have love, peace, joy, bliss and happiness.  What is your hearts desire? What do you feel would bring you such joy that you would explode with happiness if you had it? Is it a career? Is it a relationship?  Is it a service? Only you have the answer. What is it? This is between you and your heart. No parents, teachers, bosses, siblings, or friends voices are allowed. Ask your heart--what is my desire? I asked this of a client and she said her desire is to move to L.A.  Her very next sentence was, I’m worried about getting a new job. I asked her what she wanted from her new job. She said, I want be excited about going to work; I want to be operating out of my purpose; I want to make a difference; and I want to get paid well.  “So your hearts desire is you have a job you’re excited about, where you are operating out of your purpose, and that you make a difference, and you that you get paid well.” I suggested that she repeat the following words every day, “I have my hearts desire.” Not “I want it”, rather, “I have it”. Feel the difference? Energy attracts like energy. You saying that you have your heart’s desire will create energy in your heart, and will attract that energy to you. If you say I want this or that, then you are always wanting.  She said, “but how will I know which job is the right job for me?" I said, “you’re interviewing them too”-- your heart feels, and your hearts desired job will align with you. You will feel it in your heart. You will feel peace, calm, and expansion in your heart. If it’s not in alignment with your hearts desire, you will feel a contraction, confusion and conflict. Having your hearts desire is a practice. If you practice, you can see for yourself the energy of your desire. You are doing it weather you know it or not. Whatever is in your heart, positive or not, you are attracting it to you every moment of every day.  

Receiving my Golden Egg of Freedom

I’m irritated!! I have a friend whom I feel is lazy and see’s things she needs to do and just leaves it there for someone else to do. she is unorganized, leaves her stuff everywhere, she is a scatter brain. I don’t like it that she leaves things for others to do when she could help. I don’t feel she is a team player, she just oblivious to her environment. Okay! here I have it! My body is feeling the feeling of irritation. This is my golden egg! I first just get it out! blaaaaaa, blaaaa, blaaaa! I don’t hold back, I express all my feeling that are deep in my gut, I get it out. This is very important to be totally honest with myself. Now that I have it all out, I turn it around and look at my self. I’m going to copy paste and put me in place of her. I’m lazy and see things I need to do and just leave it there for someone else to do. I am unorganized, I leave stuff everywhere, I’m a scatter brain. I leave things for others to do when I could help. I am not a team player, I am oblivious to my environment. The first thing I’m feeling is No!....No!... No!... your not like that! My screaming ego judges, compares and contrast. The ego wants to protect and keep me safe in the dark. I know the only way to get my golden eggs of freedom and peace is to be honest with no judgement and look at myself with love and neutrality. I can only change what I’m aware of, feel and see. I choose only to see and know the truth. Now! when I see the truth, I allow those feeling into my heart, there I can feel how she is my mirror for me to see myself honestly and clearly. Then and only then can I transcend it, change it, change my mind about it, and change me. When I take full responsibility for myself, I can choose to change my mind about myself, and maybe do things differently. My friend will no longer irritate me, because the energy is not inside me anymore reflecting back to me, I am free to just love.

Golden Eggs

When my body gets uptight, nervous, or fearful, its my ego. It is simple: Any feeling that is not of peace, harmony, joy, bliss and love is the ego. Our body is like a radio receiver of energy that lets us know there is something that needs to be healed inside. Basically, some thoughts that need to be felt, asked the truth and changed to the correct way of thinking. How do we have the correct way of thinking? first we have to recognize how we think. and a wonderful tool is our body. When the body is feeling anyway other than peace, harmony and love then the ego is reacting. Hint! the ego can only respond from past experiences, it doesn’t know the future or the truth. Only what it thinks it knows, which is nothing. So when your feeling the body getting stirred, (this is the golden egg) why I call it the golden egg is because when you allow these feelings to come up and trust them, embrace them into your heart you’ll be able to transcend those negative, (untrue) thoughts into the truth. And the truth is: its not real! Only love is real. When we continue to allow these golden eggs to be realized in our hearts then we are rich with golden eggs of freedom.

I started a detox cleanse

4/8/13 I started the Standard Process I was feeling confined and restricted, I was hungry and didn't want to do it even though I was partnering with three other people. I knew my integrity and honesty wouldn't let me cheat or not follow through with it. So the only thing to do was to change my mind about it. I chose to desire the cleanse, I felt the feeling of having a flat tummy, the lightness of my body. The freedom of choosing what I wanted. In my life I have come to realize that my mind is the only thing I can change. How I think and what I chose to see in my life is my choice. This is where my power comes from, my freedom to chose what I want to think and desire.